Hardest Years
by HolyHogMonkey
Summary: Korra's loved ones do their best to support the Avatar through her healing process. Deals with PTSD and depression. Suggestive Korrasami feels, thought they don't actually start dating or anything. Can't help it. I'm not sorry.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Note: I'm terrible at writing Mako and Bolin. I tried. **

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><p>The evening sun yawned over Air Temple Island. Friends laughed in the island square among groups of acolytes and air benders performing their daily tasks. Bolin and Mako insisted on spending their evening with Korra despite assurances from Asami that assistance was unnecessary.<p>

"We'd like to see her too, you know," Mako had argued, and Asami conceded defeat.

"Just keep in mind that she hasn't been herself lately," Asami warned.

The three friends sat on a wide step while Korra sat by them in her chair. Bolin's dramatic tales and mover ideas brought little more than a forced smile on the Avatar's face. Mako occasionally joined in with his brother, his spirits unusually high. Asami found herself caught between enthusiasm and empathy – she couldn't bring herself to open up, not with Korra's despondence weighing on her shoulders.

Bolin had Mako stand, intending to act out an idea he'd had for a scene. He directed his clueless brother, Bolin's eccentric acting a juxtaposition of Mako's tepid display. To Asami's delight a genuine smile shattered Korra's face, if only for a moment. Hope rose in the engineer's chest and she felt the tension in her shoulders ease. Asami let herself laugh along with the brothers.

"Asami! You stand over here. Kindo comes and tries to kidnap you, but _Nuktuk_ comes in to save you!"

"Why do I need Nuktuk to save me?" Asami asked with slight chagrin.

"Just roll with it, okay? Not all ladies are as fierce as you and Korra." Bolin slapped a hand over his mouth as soon as he said it, and Mako palmed his forehead.

"Bro, seriously?"

Asami and Mako glanced at the broken girl sitting in her wheelchair. Her vacant expression hadn't seemed to change.

"Just tell me what you want me to do, Bolin," Asami continued warmly.

"Right, okay. Stand by that statue. Pretend you're tied up."

Asami rolled her eyes and obeyed.

"Now, Mako, you stand in front of her, laughing maniacally and explaining how you're going to take over the world."

"How does kidnapping Asami allow me to do that, exactly?"

"Because she's the princess! And if the princess is gone, the kingdom falls into chaos and a giant war breaks out, which Kindo is obviously prepared for, and then everyone dies. Except him. And his evil army of zombie hog monkeys."

Mako pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why do I need to act it out for you?"

"So I can show Varrick, of course!"

"Do you even know where Varrick is?" Asami asked dryly.

"Just do it! Please?"

"Fine." Mako turned to Asami. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha. I have kidnapped you, fair princess – "

"'Fair princess'?" Bolin asked skeptically, his arms folded across his chest.

"Hey, you want me to play along, or not?"

"Fine, keep going!"

Mako groaned. "I have kidnapped you, princess, and now I can put my evil, illogical plan of world domination in action."

"Oh no," Asami responded nonchalantly.

"Act more terrifying, Mako," Bolin whispered, sliding in next to him.

"Seriously?" Mako let out another groan.

"I am the evil Kindo, you will fear me, princess, I will make you rue the day you were born – "

"Ooh, I like that – "

"And no one will stop me!"

Asami rolled her eyes. She saw Korra in her peripheral vision, eyes closed, arms folded tight around her chest.

"Stop!" she yelled and in an instant she was at Korra's side. "Korra!"

Mako and Bolin ran over and stopped when Asami turned to them. "Give her space."

"Korra, we were just acting," Bolin whimpered.

Mako turned on him and pushed him a few feet away. "Bo, that skit of yours? It kind of happened, remember?"

Bolin's eyes grew wide. "Wait, you mean – I did that?"

Mako gave him a scornful look. "Where exactly do you think you got the idea from?"

Bolin shrugged. "All the kid's stories about evil guys kidnapping princesses?"

Mako dragged a hand down his face and turned back to Korra and Asami. Asami rested a hand on Korra's shoulder while she whispered something to her. He suddenly noticed tears streaming down Korra's face. He shook his head and turned back to Bolin.

"Just, try to think about how things might affect her, all right?"

"I'm sorry," Bolin whispered, shoulders sinking. "I didn't think it was that scary."

"Not for you, you're not the one who was nearly murdered. You're not the one sitting in a wheelchair."

Asami strode up behind the two, a sad look in her eyes. Mako and Bolin turned to her.

"I think Korra needs some time alone, guys."

"Is she okay?" Bolin asked.

"I'm going to take her back inside, we'll talk once I have her settled back in her room. I'll meet you in the lounge inside?"

The brothers followed along behind Asami as she pushed Korra inside the main house. They sat on a sofa in the lounge. The room was vacant; Tenzin and Jinora were outside running an evening mediation class while Pema and the other kids worked with the acolytes. Mako and Bolin sat in silence until Asami padded nervously into the room. She sat stiffly on the couch between her friends.

"She okay?" Mako asked.

"She will be."

"What happened?" Bolin asked.

Asami fidgeted with her fingers and let out a soft breath. "She has flashbacks of the fight."

The brothers remained silent.

"When we acted out that skit of yours Bolin, it triggered a memory of hers. I wasn't there for much of what happened but whatever it was, something we did brought it back to her."

"She was chained up over a pit of lava. Zaheer, Ghazan, and Ming Hua explained their whole plan to her before a metal bender pressed liquid metal into her arms and legs."

"So we pretty much reenacted the most traumatic experience of her life, right in front of her," Asami stated, burying her face in her hands. "I'm such an idiot."

"Asami, it was my fault. I didn't realize," said Bolin.

Mako's shoulders sank. "Yeah. I didn't really catch on either. I didn't even think – how could I be so oblivious?" he shouted suddenly.

The three sat in a sad silence.

"Has she talked to you about any of it?" Mako finally asked quietly.

Asami shook her head. Tears filled her eyes and her face contorted as she fought against them. Mako's arm suddenly reached over her shoulders and pulled her in, and she let out a sob. Bolin watched sadly, feeling guilty and useless as his brother rubbed the crying girl's back.

"I'm just so tired, Mako," Asami sobbed. "I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I hate that I feel so tired. I shouldn't feel like this. I need to be here for her but I just can't – I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make her smile again."

Mako's cheek rested on Asami's head. He pulled her in tighter. He knew right now she needed to talk, so he let her.

"I just feel like she isn't even in the same room with me. I look at her, but she isn't there. I miss her so much." Asami's breath hitched. She rubbed her cheeks and pulled away from Mako's embrace. Neither of them noticed Bolin slipping away from the room.

"I just wish there was more I could do," Asami whispered sadly. A couple of tears dropped from her eyes.

"Asami, you're doing more than anyone for Korra. If you can't reach her, it's not because you aren't doing enough." Mako placed a hand on her knee. "She needs time."

"I know. I know that, Mako. I remind myself that every day I wake up next – " She stopped and closed her eyes. "I know I'm doing everything I can and I know she'll get better in time. But that doesn't make right now any easier. Sometimes I just feel so useless and alone."

"You're not alone. And neither is she."

Asami smiled up at him, but her eyes spelled anguish. She hesitated before speaking and looked back down at her hands. "I just can't stand the idea of losing anyone else. My mom, then my dad, and now – sometimes it feels like I've already lost Korra."

She shook her head as another tear fell onto her hands. "Spirits, I'm such a wreck right now. I can't let her see me like this."

Mako reached over and squeezed her hand. "I think, maybe, you should take a break. Even just for a day."

Asami looked up at him in shock. She opened her mouth to argue, but Mako cut her off.

"Hear me out. You're wearing yourself thin, Asami. Seeing Korra like this every day is hurting you, and you can't be there for her if you're feeling like this. So take tomorrow off. We can go see a mover, or check out tomorrow night's Pro Bending match, or, heck, just walk through the park and breathe some fresh air. Talk about something that isn't Korra and how hurt she is."

Asami's face grew into a frown. "How can I just walk away from her right now?"

"You're not. I know how much you love her, and I know she knows it too. Taking a day for yourself isn't a betrayal, it's part of healing. You may not be the one having flashbacks, and you may not be the one in a wheelchair, but we were all there. We all went through a lot. You need time to heal too. Korra would understand."

Asami poised herself for another rebuttal before her shoulders sank and she sighed. She turned to her right, about to say something to Bolin and stopped.

"Where's Bolin?"

Mako followed her gaze and glanced around the room. "He left?"

"Oh no. The poor guy!" Asami stood to leave. "He's probably blaming himself for all of this."

"He probably ran off outside somewhere. Split up and look for him?"

:~:

Bolin paced nervously down the dark hallway towards the bedrooms. He had only seen Korra's room once, the day they had all returned to the island after the fight. He hovered outside one of the doors, hesitating a moment, before knocking softly.

"Korra?"

He received no response.

"I think this is the right room. If it is, well, I just want to say I'm sorry."

He waited a few seconds before slowly turning away. A soft voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Come in."

His heart skipped and he slid the door open. Korra sat in her chair by the window, her back to the door. Her thick hair fell over her shoulders. Bolin swallowed and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"I didn't mean to remind you of anything bad, Korra. I'm sorry." A silence hung between them.

"It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sorry I ruined your fun."

"Korra!" Bolin strode over to her and knelt beside her, looking up at her. She kept her gaze on the scene outside her window.

"Korra, you didn't ruin anything. We're here to try and cheer you up." Bolin looked down. "I'm the idiot who ruined everything."

Korra looked down at him. He shivered at the emptiness in her eyes.

"You guys should just move on. I'm only going to hold all of you back."

Bolin gaped at her before giving a her determined look. "We're not just going to abandon you, Korra. We're your friends. We don't care if you can't walk – "

"I can't do _anything_, Bolin. I'm nothing. Just go. Go be something."

Bolin was at a loss of of words. He struggled a moment to come up with something to say. "You're not nothing, Korra."

She scoffed and looked back out the window.

"You're everything to us, Korra, Avatar or not. Remember the first time I met you? The moment I saw you I knew you were special. And I had no idea who you were." He waited for a response and continued when he receive none. "You're still that girl. The Korra I met in the training room was Korra the girl, not Korra the Avatar. And, I know I have no idea how hard things are for you, and I won't pretend I do, but I see how hurt you are. Mako sees it, Asami sees it, everyone sees it. We're not just going to let you hurt like that alone. Even if we have to change our lives just to be there for you."

"Why?" Korra asked bitterly. "Why would any of you care so much, if I'm just a girl?"

"Because you would do the same for any one of us. You already have. That's why you're in this chair, isn't it? You changed your whole life to save us. Why wouldn't we want to do the same?"

Korra remained silent. She gazed out the window while Bolin stared with determination at her. Finally she relaxed slightly and slowly turned to him. The smallest glint of light shone in her eyes, and Bolin smiled.

"There she is."

Korra cocked an eyebrow.

"I saw that. That little bit of Korra I know is in there somewhere!" He grinned, and Korra couldn't help but smile. She turned away from him and shook her head slowly.

"You're such an idiot."

"But, you love me."

Bolin stood, opening his mouth to offer her some space when Korra's hand fell on his.

"Don't go."

Bolin saw a flash of terror in her eyes and knelt back down next to her.

"I – I just don't want to be alone right now. Please. Until Asami comes back, can you just stay and talk?"

"Sure, of course. About what?"

"Anything."

"Okay. Well, I trained Pabu to dance the two-step this week!" Korra smiled, breathing a laugh. "He's getting better at it, but he still can't do it for more than ten seconds. But, soon I'll have him performing, and I think I'll bring him to schools and make him famous."

"You're a nut, you know that?"

"Oh! And guess what! The Wolfbats lost in their first match this season! Can you believe it?"

"Actually, no," Korra replied.

"I saw Tahno at Narook's the next day. Oh man, you should have seen him. He was a disaster! And his groupies were gone, just him and his team glowering at their noodles like their pet wolfbat just died."

"That's pretty funny, Bolin."

"So, how's Jinora doing? I mean, how's her tattoo progress coming along?"

"Her legs and arms are done. Just her head is left. I haven't talked to her much lately. She's been busy."

"I guess so. Man, I can't imagine how much that must hurt. I mean, she's only twelve."

"She's tough."

"Yeah."

The two fell into a comfortable silence as they listened to the activity around the island. They could hear some chanting in the distance, accompanied by wind chimes, as well as shouts from new air benders practicing forms. A cool breeze licked through the room, and Bolin shivered.

"You never get cold, do you?"

"This is warmer than summer back home."

"Yeah, that place was frigid." Bolin wrapped his arms around himself. "Heard word on when your mom will be getting here?"

"She should be here tomorrow."

"And you'll be leaving after that?"

"After the ceremony."

Bolin's heart sank. "We'll miss you."

"Can we talk about something else?"

As she said it, her bedroom door slid open behind them. A pool of light flooded in from a candle and Asami and Mako stepped inside.

"Sorry to bother you Korra, but – Bolin!"

"Hey!" He and Korra turned to greet the other two.

"We were looking all over for you," Mako complained.

"You didn't think to check for me here?"

Asami and Mako exchanged glanced. "I guess not," she shrugged.

"Bolin just came by to see if I was okay."

"Are you?" Mako asked.

Korra turned to him, giving him a small reassuring smile. "As good as I can be, I guess."

"We talked through some stuff. No big," Bolin said smugly, resting his elbow on the arm of Korra's chair.

"Well, I'm glad you weren't in here alone the whole time," Asami said apologetically as she moved up to Korra. "You comfy here, or you thinking of going to bed soon?"

"I think I'm gonna turn in. But thanks, guys. For stopping by."

"Any time, Korra," Mako smiled.

"Sleep well!" Bolin gave her a tight hug and she placed a hand tenderly on his back, a strained smile on her face. Bolin stood and the brothers left the room.

"Bathroom?" Asami asked, and Korra nodded. Asami wheeled Korra into the hallway and waved to an acolyte she saw pacing past the hallway.

The acolyte, an older woman, nodded and followed her and Korra to the washroom. With some assistance Korra bathed and Asami waited outside after Pema came in from outside to help. The nightly ritual still felt strange to her; she'd never been in a position to care for someone's most intimate needs, but she filled the role willingly whenever she needed to. The first time she'd seen Korra nude she couldn't help but blush and she hoped desperately that Korra hadn't noticed. Korra herself was clearly humiliated and as soon as Asami realized the fact, she pushed her own discomfort aside.

"I'm not here to judge you, Korra," Asami had told her. "Besides, it's not like I've never seen a naked woman before."

Korra had refused to respond. She covered herself until Asami turned her back to her.

"I know this isn't easy for you," Asami continued, her back to Korra. "Just know that I'm only here to help, and only when you need it."

After the first week went by, Korra and Asami had learned to simply have fun with the situation. The tub would be filled with bath foam, more for Korra's comfort than anything, and she'd bend the bubbles with gusts of air across the room at Asami. Other times Korra would sink back in the tub, her arms over her head, a grin on her face as Asami scrubbed her feet clean. Once or twice she'd even joked, "This is the life," and "Finally getting the royal treatment I deserve!"

Korra gradually became more independent despite her disability. She wore her forlorn countenance throughout most of every day, and Asami knew the girl felt lost and alone. Most of the time she'd shut everyone out, refusing to speak. She'd gaze off into the distance as though she were somewhere else entirely. Most of the time Asami felt alone when she was with Korra but there were moments, glimpses of the old Korra shining through the fog. In those moments, she'd wheel herself from her bedroom to the dining room and surprise everyone with her presence. She wouldn't join in the discussion, but just knowing she was present, physically and mentally, was enough to instill hope in her friends and family.

She'd insist on dressing herself, at least as far as her top half was concerned, and begrudgingly accept the help of Asami and Pema for the rest. She'd wheel herself the the kitchens, gather her own breakfast, and wheel back to her room. Asami was constantly at her side, never pushing her, simply watching Korra's progress.

The nights were a different story. As Asami settled Korra into her bed and nestled in behind her, she thought about the day's progress. She thought about the flashback triggered by Bolin's enthusiasm. She thought about the night terrors that kept both of them awake most of every night, and she waited. Asami knew letting herself drift off to sleep was not an option yet. She listened as Korra's breathing steadied and grew heavy with sleep. She watched her shoulders rise with every breath, wondering when they would start shaking, when Korra's breath would hitch, when she'd whimper and her legs would spasm involuntarily.

Asami's eye lids grew heavy. She fought off sleep until it took her unwilling. She slipped into a restless slumber filled with lucid thoughts and dreams that flickered by like scenes from one of Varrick's ridiculous movers. She saw Korra standing and running, waving at her gleefully and exclaiming that she could walk again. She dreamed of Zaheer appearing huge and menacing above Korra, a fist coming down on top of her.

Asami woke with a start when Korra kicked her shin. Korra was having another night terror. Asami rubbed Korra's shoulder gently, slowly, so as not to wake her. She leaned in an inch above Korra's ear and whispered, barely audibly: "You're safe. Shh – you're safe."

Korra's breathing steadied. She let out a moan – words Asami couldn't quite understand – and relaxed. Smiling, Asami laid back down into the extra pillow and closed her eyes. She slept another couple of hours before a cry broke her from her slumber. Korra sat bolt upright, her forehead dripping with sweat, and Asami immediately wrapped her arms around her. Korra leaned into her, breathing heavily.

"He was – he was right here," she panted. "Zaheer, he was standing right there." She pointed to the empty space beside the bed. Her eyes were wild with fear.

"Shh, he's gone." Asami turned Korra's chin towards her and forced her to look her in the eye. "It was a dream, Korra. Zaheer is locked up far away. He can't hurt you."

Korra teared up and hugged Asami. She was trembling uncontrollably. "He was here. Right above me."

Asami rubbed Korra's back in slow, firm circles. She pulled Korra's hair behind her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "It was a dream."

Korra looked up at her and kissed her. Asami's eyes grew wide and Korra pulled away, equally as shocked as she covered her lips with her hand. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to."

Asami gaped, stumbling on her words for a moment. "It's okay, you're in shock. Just try to relax and get some sleep. I'm right here, nothing can hurt you."

Korra nodded and laid back down, drawing tightly into herself. Asami fell back onto the pillow and gazed at the mop of dark hair in front of her. She absently touched her fingers to her lips. Seeing Korra tense and withdrawn, she reached her hand out to her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. She felt Korra's shoulders relax, and to her surprise a dark hand reached up and pulled Asami's arm around Korra's chest. Asami snuggled in closer.

The next thing she became aware of was sunlight filtering through the curtains, accompanied by the sweet chorus of birds and lemurs outside. Korra lay on her back under Asami's arm and Asami felt a sudden rush flash through her chest. Slowly she pulled her arm away and rose from the bed. Korra's eyes opened a slit and she cleared the sleep from her eyes with a yawn.

Tossing her arm back onto the wooden mattress, she groaned up at the ceiling. "Can I just lay here all day?"

Asami rolled her eyes, leaning her back against the wall. "Technically, yes. But what good would that do? Come on, I'm sure Kya's waiting to start your healing session."

"Whole lot of good that's doing," Korra mumbled darkly.

"Hey, it's relaxing, isn't it? I'd kill for a nice healing sesh like that."

Korra shrugged. "My dad said my mom should arrive today," she said. Asami couldn't tell if she sounded excited or sad.

"Are you guys leaving tonight?"

Korra shook her head. "No. Dad said they'll stay for Jinora's ceremony in a couple of days." She reached over and took Asami's hand. "I don't know if I really want to leave yet."

"I could go with you," Asami offered hopefully.

Korra considered the question. Asami's heart rose when Korra smiled, until the smile faded. "No. You've been away from work for two weeks. I don't want to keep you away any longer."

"I don't mind. I told you, my assistant has everything covered, and I already sent all my plans for the new line of airships into production. All my major work is taken care of. As long as I've got a place to work on some drafts, and as long as I can get some write ups done and mailed," Korra stopped her.

"Asami, I think I need to go alone."

Asami frowned sadly, only for a moment. She gave Korra a sympathetic smile. "Of course."

"You understand?"

"Of course," she repeated, more assuredly. "You need time with your family."

The Water Tribe ship pulled into the island docks that evening. Tonraq greeted his wife with a strong hug, and she joined Tenzin's family for dinner. She brought her daughter into a bone-crushing embrace the moment she saw her, tears streaming down her face. Korra fought her own tears as Asami, Mako, and Bolin stood silently behind them.

"She's been recovering," Tonraq informed Senna. "We spend time together every day after her sessions with Kya." He smiled down at Korra. Then he turned his attention to Asami. "I think we have Miss Sato to thank for Korra's progress, though."

Asami smiled humbly. Tears in her eyes, Senna stood and paced over to Korra's friends, taking Asami's hand and placing her own on Mako's shoulder. "Thank you," she smiled, moving her hand over to Bolin's shoulder. Tonraq proceeded to push Korra's chair into the dining room as Senna brought Asami into a teary hug.

"I wish I could have been there for her," Senna breathed sadly. "But then, what could I do? I'm not a bender. I'm not even a fighter." She shook her head, turning to follow her husband to the dining room. The other three walked with her.

"You can be there for her now, Senna," Asami reassured her. Senna smiled at her.

Lin and Suyin arrived shortly after Senna, Asami, Mako settled at the table. Bolin immediately spotted Opal and gleefully sat next to her. Once everyone had arrived and were seated, Tenzin stood and summoned the attention of the room.

"I'd like to thank you all for being here tonight. In light of everything that has happened, it's crucial that we stand together and support each other. I'd also like to commend all of you for your bravery these past few weeks, and I'd like to make a toast to Korra, for her unfaltering dedication to the world as the Avatar."

The room raised their glasses to Korra, who sat gazing across the room vacantly. She cast her eyes down and her mother pressed a hand on hers.

"May your recovery be swift, Korra." Tenzin sat and pressed his hands together in a bow. Pema, their children and all of the airbenders followed suit, and Bolin panicked, bowing his head beside Opal and eyeing her to follow her actions. Mako and Lin both rolled their eyes at him.

"We thank the spirits for the food we're about to receive, and for the company with whom we're about to enjoy this meal."

"Everybody dig in!" Meelo exclaimed, and the room lit up with chatter and the sounds culinary enjoyment.

Korra stared down at the plate of food in front of her. Asami turned to her, distracted from a small spat between Mako and Lin. Senna took notice of her daughter's despondence as well.

"Don't feel you have to eat if you're not hungry," Asami said warmly, giving Korra's hand a squeeze.

Korra turned to her, eyes filled with grief. Asami felt her heart shatter. Senna kept an eye on her daughter throughout the dinner, occasionally attempting to engage her in light conversation only to receive silence in response.

Near the end of the first course, Senna turned to Korra.

"Would you like to go some place quieter, Korra?"

She slowly nodded. Asami immediately stood, and Senna and her both walked Korra out of the room. Neither of them made any excuse, though Tenzin, Tonraq, and Mako all watched them leave.

Senna sat on Korra's small bed after Asami pushed her into the room. She set a hand gently on her daughter's.

"You know I'm here for you, sweetie," she whispered, and Korra nodded in response.

Senna glanced up at Asami with concern, and Asami recognized the silent question in her eyes. _Yes, Korra was often unresponsive. Yes, she was emotionally absent. Yes, getting through to your daughter will be the hardest thing you'll ever face._

Asami knelt down next to Korra, intending to show Senna how she managed to earn a response from the girl over the past couple of weeks. Asami's hand settled on Korra's shoulder, her grip tight enough to pull Korra from her mind back into the room.

"Are you okay if your mom looks after you tomorrow?"

Korra's expression shifted slightly. What she was feeling, Asami could only guess; she simply waited for Korra to respond.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go to a business meeting. It might take all day. But I'll be back tomorrow night, and I'll be with you for Jinora's ceremony."

Asami searched Korra's eyes for some kind of emotion. Slowly recognition poured into Korra's face. She moved her hand over Asami's and squeezed, and Asami could tell she was afraid. Asami hadn't left her side since they all came back to the island.

"Your mother will be with you all day, Korra," Asami said, smiling.

Senna leaned in, nervously running the back of her hand over Korra's other shoulder. Asami stepped back and stood.

"It'll just be you, me, and Dad. Or whoever you want, sweetie."

Korra nodded and smiled. Asami recognized the old glimmer returning to her eyes. Wherever Korra's mind had receded over dinner, she was coming back. "Yeah, I'd like that," she said to her mother, and leaned in for a hug.

When Tonraq came knocking on the door and sat with Korra, Asami took Senna out of the room and stood with her in the hallway. She placed a hand on Senna's shoulder. Senna shook her head hopelessly.

"Is she always like that?" she asked miserably.

Asami looked down. There was no easy way to explain her daughter's mental state. "Most of the time, yes."

Senna nodded slowly. "Spirits, it feels like only yesterday she was just a happy four-year-old, bouncing around and breaking things."

She couldn't hold back the sob that escaped and Asami brought her into her arms. "She'll get through this, Senna. Come on, why don't you and I sit somewhere quiet and talk?"

In the quiet courtyard behind the lounge, they sat on one of the stone benches. They could hear voices spilling out from the dining room to their left.

"Occasionally, you'll see her old self shining through," Asami explained. "Something you say will spark a memory here or there, and she'll smile. Sometimes she'll laugh and joke along with you."

Senna's face lit up with hope.

"But there are times you'll say something that might trigger a relapse," Asami continued with warning. "You need to be prepared for that, Senna. It's terrifying, and it'll rip you apart watching her recede back inside herself. She'll shut you out and demand space. But you don't have to leave her physically. Sometimes she just needs to work her way back out after a flashback."

"Does she have those often? Flashbacks."

"Every night. And sometimes during the day, if she's triggered."

Senna looked down and sighed. "Why did this happen to her?"

Asami laughed bitterly. "She asks the same damn question every day. The only answer I have is that it happened, it just happened, and she will need all the support she can get to fight through it." She let out a breath. "But I think – I think ultimately she has to decide when she's ready to fight through it. Right now, she's still struggling to accept that this happened in the first place."

"I can't stand seeing her like this, Asami."

A tear finally broke Asami's reserve. "I know." Senna heard the hitch in her voice. "Do you think you can do it?" She turned to Senna, eyes shining. "Keep a smile on your face when you're with her?"

Senna smiled. "I'm her mother. I don't have a choice."

Asami smiled back at her. "She's so lucky to have parents like you and Tonraq. I hope she realizes that."

Senna blushed and grinned. "Having friends like you, Mako, and Bolin doesn't hurt her either, you know."

Asami looked down bashfully. "I'm just doing what I know she'd do for me."

"You two are special to each other, aren't you?"

Asami blushed and glanced up and Senna. "I – I guess so. I mean, I wouldn't say any more than Mako or Bolin."

Senna's skeptical smile suggested she felt otherwise. "Asami, just know that you're welcome to come visit her any time."

"I – thank you, Senna."

"So, what kinds of things do you find Korra opens up the most?"

Asami blushed as she immediately thought of Korra blowing a flurry of bath bubbles at her, and decided against sharing that piece of information. "Well, sometimes when I talk about some new projects I'm working on, she gets involved, starts asking me questions, shows interest, you know? And Bolin makes her laugh a fair bit, too, when he starts acting out some of his mover ideas. Jinora and Ikki sometimes get a rise out of her." Asami drummed her fingers on the bench. "What sorts of things did she really love about living in the south?"

Senna huffed a sigh. "Bending, sparring with her dad and her trainers, riding around with Naga. Things she can't do anymore."

"Oh."

"You're sure you can't come with us? You're more than welcome." Asami could hear the self-doubt in Senna's voice.

"Thank you, but I can't. Even if I didn't have my company to worry about, I think Korra needs this time to be with you and Tonraq."

Senna nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry, that was presumptuous of me."

"Senna?" The woman looked up at Asami, worry written all over her face. "It's okay to feel the way you do. I feel it every day. I ask myself how the hell I'm supposed to help her get through this, and I ask myself how I'm supposed to get through it myself. And it hurts, seeing her so broken. It really does. Just don't stop believing she'll get better. Even if she never walks again, she'll get better. I know she will. And she'll sense that confidence in you. She needs to feel it from you before she can feel it herself."

Senna smiled. She pulled Asami into a tight hug.

:~:

Asami felt her heart shattering as she watched the ship sail off into the horizon. Mako and Bolin stood on either side of her until Korra's ship could no longer be seen. Asami stood and watched alone long after until she finally dragged her eyes away. She was tired and hungry. She took the ferry across the bay, slid into her car and drove home. Her estate sprawled around her as she gazed out her office window. She'd never felt so alone.

:~:

"Your spinal cord seems to be intact," Katara observed, bending a pool of water over Korra's lower back. "My guess is that the poison destroyed the nerves connecting to your legs."

"Can anything be done? Will she be able to walk again?" Tonraq asked urgently.

Katara moved the water over Korra's back. The Avatar lay on her stomach on a sofa in Katara's home, head resting on her forearms.

"That I can't say. I believe it's possible – I believe anything is possible. Korra, can I suggest you come by every day for a healing session? With enough time and patience, we may – "

"Why bother?"

"Korra!"

Korra turned her head and looked ruefully at her father. "I just got home, Dad. Can I please just settle in, first?"

Katara glanced over to Korra's parents. "If she isn't ready, we shouldn't push her."

Korra sat that evening alone on the balcony of her suite. The spirit lights danced in the sky above her as the small city fell silent below. She shivered. She'd acclimatized to the warmth of Republic City, and the commotion. Republic City never slept.

She turned as she heard the loud thumping of Naga's feet. The polar bear dog whined and pushed her nose under Korra's arm. A small smile forced its way onto her face as she hugged the dog's head. Naga slumped onto the ground and settled her head on Korra's lap. Tears streamed freely down her face and she turned back up to the clear night sky.


End file.
